The wedding poem, by Jo Thornely
She’s graceful like a pussycat – a tiger, or a panther.
She’s the best of all who start with ‘Sam’ and finish up with ‘Mantha’.
I’ve known her for a while now, and I’ll tell you the hot take:
There’s nothing in this whole wide world that Mitty cannot make.
She’ll make your heart just swell with glee, and you know how hearts are:
It takes a lot to make them swell. And then she’ll make a bra.
She’ll make you smile with her smile, and that’s why we all adore ‘er.
She’ll triple-braid your ponytail, then crochet a fedora.
She’ll knit a scarf, she’ll craft a tie, and next – you’ll never guess.
She’ll get her old Janome out, and sew this f*cking dress!
It’s clear you’ll make a million things throughout your happy life,
But the best thing that you’ll make today is lucky Reagan’s wife.
Jo, you’re amazing, I love the poem so much! Thank you for being our M.C, you did such a wonderful job, and our guests were raving about you (as they should)!